SneakA Peek
at the best of the
Psychotic Utensils Series



    W E B I S O D E S    

Ep 100  (:40)
Psychotic Utensils Sneak Peek
A smorgasbord of GuyGrub-ination. The best
cuts from my first 12 episodes. I slice. I dice.
I sauté mice. Well, I don’t really, but it rhymes,
and in this “almost a music video” video, it is
the art that matters, not the substance. And
you can dance to it — unless you are white.



Ep 101   (1:31)
Timer Kalibration — Basics
Okay, so my kitchen timer is a pint glass. And
my timing fluid comes in six packs. That doesn't
mean you don’t need to know about "pre-pints"
and "the buyback" method of calculation. Cause
if you don't do it right, you could burn your brats.


Ep 102   (2:35)
GuyTricks
Things you won't learn watching Rachel Ray.
Like how to measure with shots. How to identify
meat, potatoes, and some really esoteric kitchen
tools. You know, tricks only a real guy like me could teach you.


Ep 103   (:45)
Hungry Tongs
Look out, honey! My tongs are hungry. And
they have a mind of their own. This episode
should not be viewed by grubbies under two
years old unless accompanied by a MILF who
will come banging on my door to complain.


Ep 104  (:49)
Duck Tape
Amazingly, it doesn't taste anything like duck!
This is the episode that got me named a person
of interest by the DEA and the Psychiatric
Quacks of America.  And thus thru the help of
federal agents and shrinks, it became the most
watched episode since their dual investigation of the Mentos-Diet Coke caper.  A white paper is due out later this year with recommendations to make Duck Tape an illegal substance.


Ep 105  (1:29)
Spreaders
In this heart-warming episode that is a combo
of Eye Of Dragon meets Oprah, I explain why it
is okay to get sensitive with your tool. And how
to make the Big Decision on your spreaders.



Ep 106  (1:08)
Screwjobber
If any tool on my Power Wall of Psychotic
Utensils lives up to its name, it’s my trusty
Screwjobber. And you know with a name like
Screwjobber, it's got to be a very good tool,
indeed. And this one lives up to it's name in
so many ways.


Ep 107   (1:12)
Cakeorator
In this artistic episode, I explain why my
Cakeorator would be a great utensil to use to
decorate a very special birthday cake… if only
it had spell check, which it doesn't.



Ep 108  (:53)
Turkey Stitcher
When it comes to stuffing your bird, and
especially over-stuffing your bird, you’ll need
this tool, unless of course you work for NASA
and have access to the 5.1 professional version
of Space-Time Stuff-It.



Ep 109  (:58)
Nasty Nut Cracker
Don't use without reading the Warning Label.
Read the Warning!  I repeat… Read The
Warning!  Especially if you used the Cakeorator
to decorate your shortie's birthday cake.


Ep 110  (1:05)
Slam Bammer
You might be surprised to find out the number
of things you can slam bam, starting with
your meat, and moving up the food chain from
there.


Ep 111  (1:21)
Firebreathing Toast Zapper
Kiddies, don't try it at home — even with lotsa
fire insurance. Instead, go to your friend’s house,
the one whose Mom is always passed out on the
couch with a bottle of vodka. Then zap away!


Ep 112  (:57)
The Thing
Oh, no!  Not that!  Not… the Thing!!!!  Even a
guy like me who laughs at danger and doesn’t
know the meaning of the word feer (or the
spelling either)… even I am scared of this most
psychotic of Psychotic Utensils.


Ep 113  (1:30)
Remedial Timer Kalibration
You thought you had it, right? But then you had
to cook 3 things at the same time, and you got
your beers and buybacks all mixed up, and you
burned your macho meatloaf, and your yellow
waxed beans looked more like firecracker fuses
than food. Actually, if you're that dumb, this webisode won't help.


Ep 114  (1:30)
Best Of Psychotic Utensils
All the thrills, the chills, but mostly spills.
Better than Cliff Notes. Cheaper than GuyGrub Guy For Dummies. Warning: Children under two years old must be accompanied by hot babysitter who appreciates the right tool for the job.






    Guy's Recipe Of The Week    

cowpoked beansCowpoked Beans
Pull up to the ol' chuckwagon, and ol' Gabby Guy will give you his good ol' recipe for cowpoking your legumes. "Yee Haw!" says Noni, as she uses her cattle prod on Guy
to speed up dinner.







Guy Grub Recipes
Weekly recipe blog. Not your everyday fare, unless you already make Tacos Cornholio, Girlfriend Body Glitter, or deep fried Oreos.
today's xcuse2party
Outrageous daily blog. Parties that are as much fun to read about as to throw. Condemned by the Legion Of Decency. And viewers like you.
drinks2drink
Pre Versions of your favorite cocktails. And your soon to be favorite cocktails. And drinks that are funnier to read about than to swill.
Yo And Noni Show
Weekly audio podcasts. Get an earful of what goes on behind the scenes with the psychotically buzzed-out creators of xcuse2party.com








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